"Welcome to the world of Dr. Grordbort!
Who is he, what is he and how is he?
He's very well and thank you for asking."
"Dr Grordbort, bastion of society, armourer of the free Earth and inventor of the Infallible Aether Oscillators. They're Rayguns - Wave weapons of various capability and application.
And YOU need one. "Do I?" you just thought. Yes, yes you do. You don't need a raygun for you, you need it for the good of society! Think of the children won't you!
The poor, poor children - they love rayguns but they just can't afford them you see, because they don't have jobs.
From the all round military durability of the Goliathon 83 which can dissolve 7/9ths of an African Elephant in 10 earth seconds to the elegantly futuristic stylings of the F.M.O.M. Wave Disrupter Gun, capable of kicking space-time in the who-hahs, these highly desirable weapons are sure to meet the requirements of any aspiring adventurer or explorer.
Presented in sturdy duelling cases which double as display stands, the high end limited edition Rayguns are bespangled in fine detail with various (most likely quite dangerous) moving parts. These wave weapons are the perfect ornament for a gentleman's study or a deterring centerpiece for a lady's powder room or chiffonier.
Dr. Grordbort has also produced miniature versions as well as light weight affordable varieties. Then there's books, rings, T-shirts and assorted knick-knacks.
It's a nice word isn't it? Knick- knacks. I like saying it. You say it too. Let's say it together - "Knick-Knacks"
So please, press the shiny buttons and peruse at you leisure these galleries and collections of phosporescent etchings, and should that tingly little 'buy' feeling stir in the nether regions of your nucleus accumbens (yes, that's a part of your brain - top marks) do not supress it! Act upon it quick smart and arm yourself for the fight!
Register your slavish interest by signing up to Dr. Grordbort's Postal P.I.G.E.O.N. newsletter. Be the first to know of announcements before the general public and get preferential treatment like some sort of big brained clever clogs. You know you are one."